5 TIPS FOR BEING AN ACTIVE LISTENER
(And responding & relating to others in a compassionate, real way that actually builds *meaningful* relationships)
[SAVE THIS POST FOR LATER]
How many times have you talked to people and thought to yourself: “are they even LISTENING to me? Or am I just not making sense???”
You see… the problem is that most people DON’T listen with the 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗻𝗱.
They listen with the 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗿𝗲𝗽𝗹𝘆.
𝗜𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗱 𝗼𝗳 𝗽𝗮𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 to what the other person is saying, most people are already thinking about what they want to say in response.
This is a BIG no no when it comes to communication.
If you want to avoid miscommunication and communicate better with those around you, then...
1 Put yourself in their shoes!
The easiest way to relate to someone is to transport yourself to a time where you 𝗳𝗲𝗹𝘁 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆’𝗿𝗲 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴… and if you still are struggling to...
When I FIRST started my business I was:
Stuck in 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗰𝗿𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 masturbation when it came to making decisions or taking actions because I was so afraid I would fail #wounds
𝗟𝗮𝗰𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗳𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 to effectively lead others because I didn’t truly believe in myself
Struggling to 𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗲𝘅𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝗺𝘆 𝗲𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀, and as a result having problems communicating effectively with the people in my life (professional and personally)
Experiencing such 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘀𝗲 𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳-𝗱𝗼𝘂𝗯𝘁 that I felt totally unequipped and unconfident when it came to actually CREATING what I wanted to create
And this is the cycle I was in at the beginning of EVERY journey I’ve been on:
- Fitness + health/losing weight
- Dating life and relationships
- Family and friends
- Physical environment (moving)
It’s no surprise many people experience these feelings when they’re just starting out in any journey...
Because heellloooo, your subconscious mind’s JOB is to keep you...
Standing fully in your 𝗧𝗥𝗨𝗧𝗛 and your 𝗣𝗢𝗪𝗘𝗥 = when everything flows to you - abundance, soul clients, success, love, pretty much #allthethings.
I’ve created Evolved Coach Accelerator (ECA) with this exact principle in mind, knowing that the most 𝗽𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿𝗳𝘂𝗹 𝗰𝗼𝗮𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 comes from being an 𝗘𝗠𝗣𝗢𝗪𝗘𝗥𝗘𝗗 𝗰𝗼𝗮𝗰𝗵, first!
Let’s be straight...
You’re full of love and light.
You’re dying to transform lives.
But you’re lacking the...
... and the clarity on how to even get there.
You’re wondering if it’s even possible for you.
You’re feeling blocked AF…
All the while, you’re furiously 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗮𝗺𝗯𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝗶𝗺𝗽𝗹𝗲𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗴𝘆 that you think will take you to the ‘next level’, thinking success will come from DOING more.
Listen up love, 𝘀𝘂𝗰𝗰𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘀 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗕𝗘𝗜𝗡𝗚, 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗗𝗢𝗜𝗡𝗚:
You 𝗱𝗼𝗻’𝘁 NEED the ‘perfect formula’ or ‘strategy’ or to do...
Are you having surface level conversations?
“Hey! How are you doing?”
“I’m good” / “I’m fine! You?”
Do these conversations sound familiar?
And don’t you dare lie to me, because I KNOW damn well you’ve had conversations like these in your life .
I mean, we all have.
In conversations, so many of us are NOT intentional when we:
Strike up convos
Respond to others
Ask others questions
The problem with these surface level conversations is that it doesn’t actually enhance our relationships... but rather causes us and the other person to walk on eggshells.
And when this happens...
We miss out on TRUE connection and communication — and the relationship doesn’t actually evolve.
What I’ve noticed majority of the time is that…
Healing is a BEAUTIFUL journey! You don’t have to fear it!
There isn’t a single person out there who has zero 𝗯𝗮𝗴𝗴𝗮𝗴𝗲, 𝘄𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱𝘀 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗶𝗿 𝗽𝗮𝘀𝘁 or inherited family trauma/generational trauma - and that’s ok!
But unpacking that baggage is something that a lot of people are in avoidance of doing because they’re scared of what will happen when they finally do.
They are 𝗮𝗳𝗿𝗮𝗶𝗱 that they will never be able to 𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗹𝗲 all of the 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 and 𝗲𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗯𝗮𝗴𝗴𝗮𝗴𝗲, and most importantly — all the:
… wounds and the pain that they’ve been repressing and/or suppressing their whole life.
Do you relate?
My love, really, it doesn’t have to be like this.
Healing is hands down THE most 𝗿𝗲𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴, beautiful journey you can experience and it doesn’t have to be isolating, scary or painful.
Healing enables you to:
Have the 𝘄𝗲𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝘁𝗲𝗱...
Have you ever experienced random acts of kindness from people who didn’t even know you?
And although you never got a chance to get to know them…
They happen to be the ones who left some of the biggest imprints on your heart? ♥
In 2016, I had just finished my undergrad and moved back home and owed my mom a lot of money from my fitness competition days.
I already started EH Fitness (my personal training business turned online coaching) at the time…
Since I just moved back home, I had to build up my in-person client base (again).
I had just picked up a couple small contracts for my brand ambassador marketing jobs, but was struggling A LOT with money.
Dec 2016, I was on my lunch break at one of those jobs, sitting at a table in the mall cafeteria on the phone with my mom BAWLING my eyes out.
I was sharing with her what contract jobs I had, how I was going to...
Yaaa, your 𝗯𝗿𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 is mucho important if you want to draw your audience in...
But you know what else is suuuuuper important for building your brand?!
𝗚𝗲𝗻𝘂𝗶𝗻𝗲 𝗖 𝗢 𝗡 𝗡 𝗘 𝗖 𝗧 𝗜 𝗢 𝗡 𝗦!
Fun fact: I’ve been a brand ambassador/team lead/field manager for 𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗯𝗿𝗮𝗻𝗱𝘀 and 𝗯𝘂𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗲𝘀 since 2015 (swipe to see a few).
My job was LITERALLY to 𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗯𝗿𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗮𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀 by 𝗖𝗢𝗡𝗡𝗘𝗖𝗧𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗲𝗿𝘀 so they feel like they WANT to approach the brand or can get behind what the brand’s about.
The 𝗜𝗦𝗦𝗨𝗘 with this in the 𝗼𝗻𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗲 𝘀𝗽𝗮𝗰𝗲, my love, is that we 𝙙𝙤𝙣’𝙩 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙣 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙝𝙤𝙬 𝙩𝙤 𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙣𝙚𝙘𝙩 𝙛𝙪𝙡𝙡𝙮 with 𝙤𝙪𝙧𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙫𝙚𝙨, LET ALONE connect with others.
In order to fully connect with yourself you need to be PRESENT and GROUNDED in whatever you’re feeling or doing at any given moment...
Instead of what we’re taught, which is 𝘀𝘂𝗽𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁𝘀 and 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 and distracting yourself away from the PRESENT moment.
So you want to connect with your peeps for real?
Why you need to celebrate your wins! … no matter how big OR small
Y’know… after working with SO many human beings in different industries.
Fitness + health / business coaching / life coaching clients… and now the deeper inner work (inner child and generational trauma) in my current Life AND Business coaching…
I’ve learned that MOST of us *don’t celebrate* our wins and accomplishments.
And we struggle to feel fulfilled, happy, proud, and anchor our feelings of accomplishment and growth into the present moment!!!
SOOO many of us STRUGGLE with this.
... ESPECIALLY my fellow entrepreneurs!
For many of us... when we achieve a
goal we move on to the next goal achieve that and we keep going...
We’ve learned this from a really young age.
At some point in our human evolution, we were taught we were too much, too x, y, z…
We were bullied, yelled at, ridiculed, and judged.
So we never felt “right”...
3 Reasons Why You Need To Let Go
Letting go is hands down one of the hardest things for us human beings to do.
past hurt and pain
people + relationships
old beliefs + programming
habits, patterns, and behaviours
It’s fucking terrifying.
Because it means we’re letting go of all that we know... that certainty and comfortable way of being.
EVEN if it’s toxic and doesn’t serve us or our highest good.
But letting go is the ONLY way we can truly move forward and on in our life.
To no longer be held captive by remnants of our past.
Here’s the truth my love ♥, letting go allows you to...
1 Create SPACE for something new to happen!
When one door closes, another one opens
We get stuck and frustrated wondering why we can’t attract the dream clients, finances, opportunities, and relationships into our lives...
But how can we if we’re...
Have you been going through some significant changes in your life?
In your business? Your relationships?
Maybe you’ve got new goals and opportunities ahead of you that 1 excites you, and also 2 scares the shit outta you.
And maybe 2 scares you so much that you procrastinate on taking action?
If so, this is your sign to jump right on in and take that leap of faith.
You don’t have to wait for permission. You don’t have to wait until you feel ready or know all the details, or the “how”.
Take a deep breath and jump right on in because life bends for the courageous.
And trust that the Universe has your back.
You’re on the right path and you’re already facing the right direction… The only thing left for you to do is take that leap of faith.
You’re going to figure out the details as you go along.
And remember... your subconscious mind wants to keep you safe, so anything that’s outside of your comfort zone is GONNA be...