Have you been all work and no play?

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Have you been all work and no play?

As you probably know... I’ve had a couple near death experiences in the past few years.

And what I’ve TRULY learned is that time really IS our greatest asset.

I see so many people (especially in the entrepreneurial space) spending so much time being busy building their “dream life” that they forget to actually enjoy it.

They forget why they even DECIDED to start their business in the first place.

I see so many people strive to build the life and business of their dreams but drive themselves to EXHAUSTION.

They’ve got the money, they’ve got the clients...

And it looks great on the outside.

But every night their head hits the pillow…

A part of them still feels empty and unfulfilled.

A part of them feels like something’s “missing”.

THIS is exactly why I do the work that I do… why I do LIFE + Business/Success coaching.

Because at the end of the day...

Your business, career, and...

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Have you ever felt like you’re not represented in the coaching industry?

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Have you ever felt like you’re not represented in the coaching industry?

Or feel like people aren't equipped to coach clients of colour? ‍

Racial trauma is real and many people aren't aware of it and don't know how to address it or hold SAFE SPACE! ‍

Here’s the thing… if you don't come from a trauma-informed lens → it can be hurtful and unhelpful for your clients.

 

Wanna know the truth?

Racial trauma and childhood trauma are two MAAJOOORRR aspects that hold so many leaders and coaches back.

@xocrystalnicole and I have both worked with coaches where there was a connection piece missing.

Where we felt unaligned because of the same questions I asked you above.

That’s why we’ve pulled the “How Childhood Trauma Affects Your Business Success” workshop together!

We want to start spreading this work as far as we can in the online space so that no one has to feel like we did again.

During our time together you will learn how...

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For the majority of my life…

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For the majority of my life… I didn't accept my body and ultimately myself because I ALWAYS allowed the words and judgment of others to define my worth.

This affected EVERY area of my life and how I showed up...

in my brand and business and how I marketed/positioned myself or created content…

in my romantic relationships and who I thought I was worthy of attracting…

in my friendships — I ALWAYS felt like I was never good enough or “pretty” enough to attract guys like my friends did…

… and so much more.

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And wanna know something fucked up? ‍

My Chinese nickname growing up was: 肥妹 (féi mèi”)

 

Which LITERALLY translates to:

féi = fat

mèi = girl

 

Yup… my ENTIRE family called me this growing up and they somehow made it sound cute with different tone pitches and ways of saying it (swipe to hear).

...

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All I wanted to do as a child was to fit in...

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All I wanted to do as a child was to fit in...

To be like and play with the “rest of the kids”.

Yet... no matter how hard I tried to fit in, I STILL got bullied, made fun of, and picked on.

And little did I know... ALL those childhood wounds affected my identity and how I showed up in the world in adulthood.

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Something I’ve NEVER talked about on here is the immense amount of guilt I’ve carried as an adult for having felt SO ashamed of my identity and where I came from growing up.

As a kid, ALL I ever did was compare myself and my life to my peers, because I couldn’t understand why my life was SO different from theirs.

I’m a Chinese/Vietnamese woman who grew up in a predominantly white neighborhood.

While most of my peers believed in God and went to churches — I believed in Buddha and went to temples.

While my classmates ate PB & J sandwiches, I ate noodles or rice and soy...

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If I’m not working all the time, then I’m not working hard enough

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“If I’m not working all the time, then I’m not working hard enough”…

This is a story that caused me to self-sabotage in my life and business over and over again ever since I started entrepreneurship back in 2015.

I’d get stuck in the the “all work and no play” mentality. ‍

I was “go, go, go” and “on” ALL the time.

I never slowed down… because slowing down felt like failing.

The worst part was that anytime my life and business felt “easy”…

I’d get a feeling like something was wrong.

I had a pattern of overthinking EVERYTHING which made my life and business harder than it needed to be.

 

This led me to burnout…

Exhaustion…

Depression…

Anyone else resonate??

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I never understood WHY this kept happening until I came across #GenerationalTrauma work…

Then I learned that I was repeating...

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I struggled with body dysmorphia and shame around my body image my ENTIRE life.

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I struggled with body dysmorphia and shame around my body image my ENTIRE life...

Which fucked with the way I showed up in life, in business, and in my relationships...

And like MANY others...

I grew up thinking that I’d only be loved, happy, worthy, or good enough if I reached a number on the scale , looked a certain way, or made X amount of money ‍ 

This is what happens when:

you’re bullied for your weight and what you look like...

you’re surrounded by the media and ads that constantly remind you of the LACK in your life.

And reinforces the idea that you won’t be loved, good enough, or be happy and successful if you don’t buy x company’s…

Clothes

Diet pills

Waist trainers

Blueprints/Ebook

Course/Program

Etc.

—————————

Here’s the hard truth I wanna share with you that comes from not only my own experience, but from the many clients I’ve worked with...

...

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I don’t know who needs to hear this today.

I don’t know who needs to hear this today… 

But 𝙮𝙤𝙪’𝙧𝙚 𝙀𝙉𝙊𝙐𝙂𝙃. 

Your story…

Your voice…

Your content…

Your thoughts…

Your experiences…

Your beliefs…

Your quirks…

 

Everything about you IS enough and matters.

 

So PLEASE 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘱 𝘩𝘪𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 because you’re 𝘢𝘧𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘥 of what other people will think. ‍

I know you hesitate to show up as your 𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘤 𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 because you don’t think your audience or those around you will like the *real* you.

I know that deep down…

You DO want to get 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹 and 𝘃𝘂𝗹𝗻𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲 with others, but you don’t want them to think less of you.

 ——————

I’ve literally been RIGHT where you are now (no joke)...

Worried about showing my vulnerability while 𝗹𝗶𝗺𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗺𝘆𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳 in my life, business, and relationships at the exact same time.

 But here’s the truth…

Every time we’re 𝘯𝘰𝘵...

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When you put yourself on the back-burner

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When you put yourself on the back-burner and always put yourself last, you'll have 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 left to give the people you’re here to serve ‍

𝗘𝘃𝗲𝗻 𝗰𝗼𝗮𝗰𝗵𝗲𝘀, 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀, 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗿𝗲𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗲𝘂𝗿𝘀 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱 𝘀𝘂𝗽𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁, 𝗺𝘆 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲.

Just because you’re here to help and serve others DOES NOT MEAN that you have to stop and drop everything that’s going on for you...

... or put your own shit to the side so you can show up as supercoach for your clients!

Fact: working through and getting support through yoooo own shiizzz...

and allowing yourself the time & space to heal is going to help you to actually 𝗦𝗛𝗢𝗪 𝗨𝗣 and guide those who need you!

You can’t help someone else if you’re struggling yourself, so please please PLEASE...

If you’re struggling — make sure you have:

a support network

people to talk to who understand you

given yourself the time and space to move through whatever it is you’ve gotta move through

Yes, you’re 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗼𝗻𝗴…

...

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Structure and routine = quantifiable growth and results in your business.⁣

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Structure and routine = quantifiable growth and results in your business.

I seriously cannot stress enough how important it is to have structure and set a routine for your personal and work life…

Structure and routine = reaching your outcomes/goals consistently.

Life can be pretty unstructured and chaotic at times… but that doesn’t mean it needs to derail your business. #WhoFeelsMe?

Things ARE going to come up — it’s inevitable, and life is going to happen…

whether it’s:

vacations

conferences

work trips

emergency trips

life throwing you a big old curveball

You need to be prepared for this!

Otherwise, when these things happen, it’s too fucking easy to drop the consistency ball in our business. ‍

You’ll stop moving forward because you’re too overwhelmed with life.

Whereas, if you have a clear plan - you KNOW what you need to do and when it needs doing!

You can stick to those deadlines and make sure you’re...

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You weren't fucking born to be like or have a story like anybody else.⁣

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You weren't fucking born to be like or have a story like anybody else.

Wanna know the truth?

There has never been and NEVER will be anyone like you... because, if there were, there would be NO need for you to exist.

You are alive, you are reading this caption. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗲𝘅𝗶𝘀𝘁 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗮 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗼𝗻.

And 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗮 𝗽𝘂𝗿𝗽𝗼𝘀𝗲. I promise you.

—————

Do you find yourself scrolling through social media, questioning, disliking, and comparing certain parts of your body, your life, your business, who you are as a person, or your story?

You can thank the marketing and advertising industry for this .

SO many of us struggle with 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗳𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 (inner and outer).

And as a coach who has always helped clients with confidence in all areas of life... 𝗜 𝘀𝗲𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂. I see you down-playing your triumphs because you’re comparing it to those who “had it so much worse.”

Your life journey is a never-ending series of roller coasters.

One week, you’re on a high and think...

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